Where should I start? Every year as it gets closer to my birthday I began to evaluate my life. It seems like this year is hitting a little harder. Maybe it is the loss of one of my oldest friends. Maybe her death has me questioning my own immortality. Every day when I feel sad I know it is sadness for me and not for her. If she had nothing else she had endless faith. She had a beautiful spirit and a beautiful relationship with God. Her passing has me questioning a lot of things. My mind wonders and I wonder if I was a good enough friend. I wish I was different. I wish I was more open and transparent. I hold so much in. I know she knows I love her. I tell my friends all the time that I love them. I wonder if I tell my kids enough. Even before her death, I felt the pressure of just trying to be.  

I made it through my birthday. It's still some things I plan on checking off my list. I'm not exactly where I want to be in life. I'm working on some things, especially myself. I got my cupcakes from Edgar's. I took myself out for lunch and popped by to see my Mama. I ended my birthday by visiting with my bestie. Plus I got my flowers. I might have to add getting myself flowers to my monthly list. This weekend I got my Waffle House trip with my Mama, the kids, and my sister. Still have to go on that birthday date.